


Organization XIII goes to Sea World! :D

by Falco276



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Gen, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-28
Updated: 2014-04-28
Packaged: 2018-01-21 04:07:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1536914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Falco276/pseuds/Falco276
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Demyx convinces the Organization to go to SeaWorld. COMPLETE. [many couples, most are platonic.] [crack]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Organization XIII goes to Sea World](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/47303) by GotitMemorized. 



**A/N:** Oh yes. Another 'Orgy XIII goes to so-and-sos-ville!' fic. But I just had to do this. Okay? Please don't shoot me... Oh, and here's that 'I don't own Kingdom Hearts' shit if you're looking for it.

UM. Please, don't kill me because Zexion made fun of the manatees. They really _don't_ do anything, but they are really adorable. :3

* * *

Demyx was thoroughly,  
utterly bored. Axel was off somewhere running off with Roxas, most  
likely hiding from Saïx. So here he was stuck in another one of  
Xemnas' lectures without any of his friends there. Okay, so Zexion  
was there. But good ol' Zexy denied his relationship with Demyx in  
public. And that's another story.

So, Demyx was daydreaming. He was dreaming of a place with lots of junk food, lots of squishy huggable things, and lots and lots of water. Not to mention some Organization members with "just got laid" faces, even though they _weren't_ just laid; they're just high. As always.

"Hey guys!" Demyx didn't care that he was interrupting Xemnas. Er... rather, he didn't _notice_ that he was interrupting the Superior. "I have a great idea!" All heads turned to Demyx; anything was better than listening to Xemnas' obsession over pretty heart-shaped moons and eternal darkness.

"Let's go to Sea World!" Demyx let out a cheesy ear-wide grin. Disappointment filled him when an awkward silence conquered the room.

Xemnas' devious mind was already at work, and for once was thinking about something aside from oddly shaped moons and darkness. "Okay, let's go." He let out a smirk evil-er than usual. His logic told him that if they go to a place with lots of water... surely he'd get to see Saïx in a bathing suit (this proves he's never been to Sea World before).

* * *

"Are we there yet?"

"..."

"Are we there yet?"

"..."

"Are we there _yet?_ "

"Demyx."

"We're there!"

"Shut. The. Crap. UP," Vexen nearly slammed his head on the gummi ship controls. "And for the record, _no_ , we're _not_ there!"

"Not smart Vexen. You should've told him we're there; he'd stop asking then," Zexion suggested.

"One: it's too late. Two: I'm not about to risk having number nine over there climbing all over my head. Are you? And frankly, I think that's worse than his blabbering."

"Can I duct tape him? He'll shut up! Pleaaaaaaaaaase?" Larxene attempted the puppy dog face.

"Not on your _life,_ " Xaldin snapped.

"Damn," Larxene eyed her torture devices mournfully.

Vexen sighed, putting a helmet on. "Okay, we're there."

"YAY!"

* * *

"...WOAH." Demyx  
inhaled deeply as his eyes explored the new area surrounding him.

The park was bigger than The Castle that Never Was. Well, maybe it looked bigger, because there was actual _colour_ in the park.

"Slow down there!" Xigbar grabbed Demyx by the hood, slightly choking Demyx. "We've got to get the tickets first."

"What's with the wait thoughhhhh? I wanna see EVERYTHING in the park!"

Xigbar snorted. "We've got all day, squirt." His comment was returned with an infamous Demyx beam.

"Alright everyone," Xaldin said, tickets in hand. "We've got the tickets. HOWEVER. We are not traveling individually. We are staying in groups of two or more. This means _keep an eye on your group mates._ "

"What is this, an elementary school field trip?" Zexion rolled his eyes.

"Truthfully, knowing you guys, more like preschool."

OOH, DISSED.

The author was then bricked, tomato'd, shoe'd, and then she decided she needed a shower and to continue the story before the readers found the eggs and fish. Or before they left. Whichever came first.

Axel immediately grabbed Roxas' hand. Demyx joined them with utter glee. Xigbar eyed Demyx, but Xaldin grabbed him by the ear and pulled him to his side. Demyx gave Zexion a sad look, but Zexion turned away (which is Zexion language for 'blushed') and attempted to start a conversation with Lexaeus and Vexen. Larxene attempted to sneak off, but Saïx dragged her by the hood to Marluxia's side. If she wasn't going to cooperate, she deserved to suffer.

"Everyone ready?" Xemnas asked. His questioned was answered with the Organization nodding in unison. "Get out of here. Now."

_Good,_ the reader muttered at the monitor. _The plot's **finally** moving along._

* * *

Lexaeus and Zexion were bored. Really bored. They watched Vexen and his growing enthusiasm searching around for something of amusement to him. Lucky for Vexen, Sea World wasn't well-known for its rides.

"So, Vexen. Where are you planning on going?"

"Hmmm, not quite sure. Want to go see the manatees?"

Zexion groaned. _We might as well just stay here! Manatees don't do ANYTHING interesting! They sit around in their swampy water farting and eating half-dead plants._

* * *

Meanwhile, Xigbar was all over Sea World like Demyx was on a pack of skittles. Xaldin walked behind him, in a slow, calm manner, sighing every once and a while. "Dammit," Xigbar muttered. He then caught eye of an employee. "Oh! Hey, dude, you got any turtles around here?"

"...Turtles...? Yes, they're –"

Xaldin grabbed Xigbar by the abnormally pointy (but still very sexy) ear in the other direction. "Come on, let's go see the penguins."

"But I want to see the freakin' turtles!"

* * *

After a nice, long  
make-out session in some corner of the park, Xemnas and Saïx  
decided to head to the shops area. "Oh, would you look at this,  
Saïx. Would you like a picture of us a cartoon?" Saïx  
nodded and the two Nobodies headed to the local caricature booth.

"Um..." Xemnas started, looking at the young artist. "...Why are _you_ here...?"

* * *

Wheeee,  
so that was chapter one. -begins working on chapter two- I know, crappy  
place to leave off. Next chapter: How does Xemnas know the mysterious  
artist dude? Why on EARTH did Xigbar want to see the turtles so  
badly? More importantly, **WHY AM I DENYING YOU AXEL/ROXAS GOODNESS!**  
:O (Well, if those aren't in the next chapter, they should come up  
eventually. SeaWorld only has so many 'attractions' you know.)

Reviews please! -shows smuggled cookies- >.>;;


	2. Chapter 2

Ahaha. I have no life. This wasn't much of a wait for the next chapter; the fic looks longer than it really is. Even though I actually put SOME amount of detail into this! Gasp! Disclaim'd again.

* * *

"Umm...  
seriously, why are _you_ here?" Xemnas glared at the young  
artist. Saïx, confused, did the same. He couldn't look stupid  
in front of his boyfriend, you know.

"Um..." The young artist lifted up their head.

"Naminé, what in God's name are you doing in _Sea World!_ " This was a vactation-ish thing! And now he would have to baby-sit Naminé! Ugh, at least he had that make-out session with Saïx earlier. That eased him a bit.

The pale, young Nobody cautiously looked up at the Superior and the younger Nobody. "M-Marluxia scared me..." Xemnas slapped his forehead. "What'd number eleven do NOW!" "He... he threatened me... And he forced me away from Sora... So I came here, where I could be paid for expressing my talent..."

"Naminé, don't know if this is news to you or not," Saïx began before Xemnas could say anything else. "But Sora doesn't love you. And you can't love him. You're a _Nobody._ And frankly, Sora's GAY. He loves Riku."

"You mean... he doesn't even love _Kairi!_ " Naminé thought that if Sora could love her other half, surely he could love her as well!

"Naminé, are you _blind?_ There are almost no signs pointing in that direction," Xemnas rolled his eyes.

"W-what...? What about Roxas? He's straight, isn't he?"

Xemnas started laughing, gripping his sides, tears streaming out of his eyes. Saïx then reminded him that Nobodies can't cry and Xemnas stopped laughing. "You-you mean you don't know about thirteen and eight being together? I mean, come _on_ , it's so obvious!"

Naminé looked down at her drawing, and then at the couple who she was drawing. They were scared. Naminé began to cry; her tears staining her own masterpiece. She didn't care about being fired now. She didn't care that Nobodies couldn't feel; she felt this pain. Her dreams were shattered. Finding out the only two guys in the _whole universe_ she thought she loved, they were both gay AND taken! She might have well of stayed with Marluxia, even though he was very scary... especially when she used his shampoo.

"We... we're leaving now..." The couple Naminé was drawing began to walk away. "Oh, wait, don't you want your money back?" The female Nobody handed the couple their money as they began to fast walk away, looking back occasionally at Xemnas and Saïx and whispering.

* * *

Zexion  
yawned. His eyes followed a manatee, which was, as he predicted,  
solely eating plants in a slow, steady manner. It was disguising. Why  
Vexen decided to come here, he did not know. Or want to know, for  
that matter. His eye twitched as he watched a Sea World employee jump  
into the swampy water and began cleaning it. The employee might have  
well just jumped inside the manatee's mouth while they were at it;  
he was sure the sea cows could use a good tooth cleaning.

Vexen studied the manatees with fascination. He even took pictures of them. "Look, Lexaeus, it's going on its back! Oh, how _graceful_ those manatees are...! Lex...aeus? Hello?"

Lexaeus was staring at the ceiling, totally out of it. Vexen shook him. "WAKE UP, DAMMIT! Ugh, you have _got_ to learn to stop sleeping with your eyes open." Lexaeus snorted and looked down at Vexen. "Wha...? I, oh, sorry, Vexen..."

"You want something exciting?" Zexion turned away from the manatee to face a smirking Vexen. "Let's go on the rapids ride!" Zexion and Lexaeus nearly beamed.

* * *

"Aah,  
this place is so nice..." Xaldin sighed, sniffing in the air. It  
was easier to breathe in the penguins exhibit than in the rest of the  
park as the penguins needed a colder environment. The air had a  
sharp, clean, cold feeling to it. "Don't you agree, Xigbar?  
Xigbar...?" He looked around near him, Xigbar was no where to be  
seen. "Shit," he murmured.

"Look, daddy! A pirate snuck into the penguins' area!" A little girl cried, pulling on a man's shirt. Xaldin heard this and searched for anything that would resemble a pirate. Naturally, he found Xigbar. In the penguins' area. Attacking the penguins. "SHIT XIGBAR! What on EARTH are you **doing!** " Everyone around Xaldin stared at him like he was insane. He managed to trace Xigbar's tracks and find how he snuck in there.

He jumped into the phony Antarctica as he heard Xigbar shouted "DIE you munchkin DIE!" Xaldin grabbed him from the back and stopped him. "Xigbar, what are you _doing!_ " Okay, bad question. Xaldin knew very well what Xigbar was doing. It just scared him a lot.

"That little dude called me **OLD**!" Xigbar hissed. "Lemme at him lemme at him!"

"Hey Xigbar, if I take you to the turtles, will you behave?" Xigbar beamed and stopped torturing the poor penguin, which squawked and got as far away from Xigbar as humanly possible.

* * *

"Soooooooo,  
guuyssssssssss," Axel asked, putting his arm around Roxas'  
shoulder. "What should we do?" Demyx was staring into the map,  
about to burst with excitement.

"Don't touch me," Roxas snapped.

"Hey guys," Demyx said, finally picking his head up from the map. "How about we go see the Artic animals?"

"Axel will melt the entire building," Roxas muttered. "Oh Roxasss, I'm hurt! And besides, it's not like the actual BUILDING is made of ice, I can't melt it..." Axel attempted to coax his grumpy more-than-just-a-friend.

Roxas sighed. "If you get your arm off of me, we'll go."

* * *

"Dammit!"  
Larxene shouted.

"You really shouldn't shout that Larxene; there are little kids here," Marluxia reminded her.

"Newsflash Flowerboy: I don't give a shit! And how'd HE'D wind up with us!" Larxene threw her finger in Luxord's direction.

"Because, Larxene, in case your preschool teacher forgot to tell you, thirteen is an _odd number._ That means there will be one person left over if we went in pairs," Luxord lectured. "And besides, you two are so immature, you need an adult to separate you."

"It's Saïx's fault! If he would've let me go off on my own, then I wouldn't be paired up with you two neophytes! And why can't we get on the fucking ride already!"

"There's a _line_ Larxene."

"I. Want. To. Get. On. The. Fucking. Ride. If it takes any longer, those dolphins over there will be burnt to a crisp." Larxene pointed to a mini-exhibit with dolphins swimming blissfully inside.

Luxord gulped and sought out the nearest employee. "Excuse me, kind sir, do you think you could let us onto the ride? We have a PMSing woman with us..."

" **I'M NOT PMSING DAMMIT!"**

Marluxia grabbed her right arm while Luxord grabbed her left and dragged her into her own private seat in the coaster and grabbed the seat behind her.

"START THE FUCKING RIDE!" Larxene shrieked. Mothers covered their children's ears. The employee listened to Larxene before she started PMSing further.

"This ride **better** amuse me or you're **all** coming to my torture chamber afternoon!" Marluxia gulped. He had seen Larxene's torture chamber. It's not a pretty place. It's not nice either. The walls literally scream "help." Yes, the walls talk. They're made with the blood of Larxene's victims.

Luxord looked wearily in Marluxia's direction as the other man gulped again. Maybe they _should've_ let Larxene go off on her own. Or they could always ask Xaldin to trade Larxene for Xigbar. Xaldin was responsible. He could deal with her. And Xigbar couldn't be _that_ horrible.

* * *

Vexen  
shrieked. He wasn't suited for rides. He wasn't suited for  
adventure, excitement, or anything nice feeling, except maybe accomplishment (but that's another story). "L-Lexaeus...  
Icanbarelybreathe!" He managed to gasp.

Lexaeus sighed. "This ride is _nothing_ Vexen."

"Idon'tcare **getmeoffitrightnow.** "

"Zexion glanced at Vexen, who's face was turning purple. _Tch, this is a **baby's** ride Vexen,_ thought the cloaked schemer. _If he can't handle this, I'd hate to take him to Magic Mountain._ Zexion shifted out of water's way every time it neared him. There is no way he was going to ruin his perfect hair.

"The ride's almost over, Vexen," Lexaeus had to calm down Vexen in one way or another. "You can let go of me now..."

* * *

"Dude!  
That was _lame,"_ Axel sighed.

"You just don't care about animals. You just don't care about anything and don't respect anything," Roxas snapped. "Hey Roxas, you know I love yo—"

"Soooo, Demyx, how'd _you_ like it?" Roxas purposely ignored Axel. "It was AWESOME! The belugas are so cute!"

"What do we do now?" Axel asked, desperate for Roxas to pay attention to him. "Anything we buy's on me."

Roxas glanced at Demyx, and the two smirked, giving Axel the most devious look he'd ever seen.

"A-are you sure you don't just want to see the Shamu show...?"

* * *

Poor,  
poor Axel. He should really start thinking before attempting to woo  
Roxas. Anyway. I put Luxord in this chapter! Don't forget that  
he's an Organization member tooooooooooooo. ;-;

Don't forget to review! I have desserts to hand out if you doooooo.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** thanks for all the reviews you guys! It's so nice to wake up in the morning and see that I have a handful new reviews. :D I noticed all of you just LOVED Xigbar in the last chapter, and well, I can't blame you (how can you NOT love Xiggy?). I tried to give him as much time in this as possible, but that's not what I was planning unfortunately. BUT. The mysteries of Xigbar and the turtles should be revealed next chapter. :)

I also hope you all realize that this will not be a long fanfic. Sea World isn't exactly the funnest place on earth, and I don't remember _every last little thing_ there. Soo... you'll get what you get. Mmkay?

I would also like to defend myself and say NO, I do NOT have a polar bear fetish. XD

* * *

"Seriously  
guys... Wouldn't you rather go to the Shamu show...?" Axel gulped  
again at Roxas and Demyx's remaining smirks. "We're right at a  
gift store, aren't we? And you _did_ say anything's on you,  
Axel..." The trio walked into the Arctic giftshop.

"Dammit. Gotta stop making this stupid promises," Axel shook his head, looking at his wallet. "Alright guys, but keep it _reasonable,_ please!" Demyx laughed maliciously and Roxas began browsing.

"Ooh, how cute! A polar bear stuffed animal! I want this," Demyx chirped, snuggling an oversized stuffed polar bear. He buried his face into its fake fur.

"Oh _gods_ no, Demyx... Those things are freakin' expensive! And I'm not lugging that thing around the park everywhere..." Axel realized he had to impress Roxas and Demyx, but that they were not going to cooperate.

Roxas continued his browsing, his eyes rejecting everything in sight. He walked over to Axel and tugged on the man's coat with faux innocence, staring into the cracks on the floor. How he forced a blush onto his face is unknown to Roxas himself, Axel, and last and certainly least, the fic writer. "Axel..." he started. "I want something too... I want a _real_ polar bear..."

Axel slapped his forehead and his eyes searched around the store in need of a gun.

* * *

"Okay,  
after we get off this ride, we find Xaldin. No stops in the middle.  
Okay?" Luxord whispered to Marluxia. Marluxia in return nodded; it  
was wisest to make little noises with Larxene in front of them. It  
was also a good idea to make sure Larxene and her wicked electricity  
powers didn't do anything funky to the ride, like stop it or  
something more creative that the author is too uncreative, lazy, and  
tired to think of what.

"WHERE'S THE DROP DAMMIT?" Larxene hollered.

"We're... about to go over it, Larxene..." Marluxia's statement was returned with a simple but sharp "good," which he found strange, because he was definitely expecting something PMS-y in return. However, he counted his blessings and tried to enjoy the ride.

After all, he was the only one who wasn't. But he didn't tell them he had a horrible phobia of roller coasters. Being the nature fanatic he was, he liked being close to the ground, he felt comfortable. He didn't like the air; he didn't like the idea of falling. And falling at a nearly ninety degree angle was _horrifying_ for him, even though it's a quick drop and looks more awful than it really is (especially when you're looking down on it). That wretched feeling of his stomach twisting and turning itself inside out, almost like his stomach was committing suicide, started as they fell. He was happy Larxene was in front of himself and Luxord; not only did he know that she wasn't doing anything horrifyingly cruel, but she would get that feeling more than he did.

He had a PMSing woman in front of him (not to mention one who controlled electricity, and could summon lots of scary daggers at any given moment), he was living his fear, his beautiful hair was getting ruined in the wind, and he wasn't complaining.

* * *

Saïx  
smirked as he watched Naminé sulk away in misery. He had  
enjoyed toying with her phony emotions. His smirk quickly faded as he  
turned to face the older man. "Xemnas, what do you propose we do  
now?"

"No clue," Xemnas was inspecting a map. "This place is _really_ boring... All you do is watch people make fools of themselves and get paid for it or you watch animals crap. How'd we get here again...?"

"Demyx thought it would be fun, and you agreed for whatever reason." Ah, yes. Xemnas remembered now. He thought he'd get to see Saïx's manly, sexy chest if he agreed to Demyx's little idea of going to Sea World. But nooooooo. Damn Sea World. Damn Demyx. Damn Xemnas' overactive imagination.

"Let's go watched that fucked up clown show thingy," Xemnas sulked away, Saïx soon to follow. He was most definitely surprised in his more-than-just-a-boss-or-friend's mood swing. "There's a show starting soon, let's not miss it."

* * *

"Vexen,  
breathe already," Zexion groaned. They had just gotten off the  
rapids ride whose name the author cannot seem to recall, and frankly  
doesn't give a shit because there are more important things to  
remember. Lexaeus and Zexion stopped at a continently located bench  
and sat Vexen down on it. Zexion and Lexaeus were _very_  
disappointed by the ride, while Vexen...well, he was another story.

"I'm... never... going on... _anything_... that swift... _again..._ " Vexen proclaimed between breaths.

Lexaeus sighed. He really didn't want to believe that he had to be the adult here; Zexion was acting like a pouty teenager and Vexen was incapable of acting like a sophisticated adult at a place like this. However, he was forced to be the adult. He chose _not_ to make Vexen feel bad and tell him that ride was abnormally pathetic. Instead he just let Vexen complain (there was no winning with this guy). "How about..." Lexaeus tried to recall the park map mentally. "Would you like to head to the weird-animals exhibit?" Vexen nodded shakily and Zexion rolled his eyes.

The trio began their trek from the nameless-for-the-sake-of-this-fic rapids ride to the small aquarium featuring bizarre animals. Fortunately for Lexaeus, he met up with two people he _definitely_ wanted to see.

"Xemnas, sir!" Lexaeus waved with his one free hand, as the other was supporting Vexen. Xemnas caught glance of them and dragged Saïx over in Lexaeus' direction.

"Hello, number five. How are things with you three?" Xemnas wanted to retract his statement as he looked at panting half-dead Vexen and a wandering Zexion. "Number six, get back here!" Zexion scoffed and obeyed Xemnas without thought.

After a long, awkward silence, Zexion decided to break it. "So, what're you two doing here anyway?"

Saïx met Zexion's deep eyes with a glare from his own narrowed eyes. "We're watching the show." He pointed towards what looked like the back of a stadium.

Zexion glared back and folded his arms, one over the other. "Good. Away from us. _We're_ going to the aquarium." Zexion despised Saïx with all his non-existent being. He wanted him to know it, too. He wanted Saïx to remember that he, although lacked respect, _was_ in fact his superior and _was_ in fact one of the original six. Saïx merely nodded. He decided not to take his anger out on someone who couldn't fight and decided it's best _not_ to embarrass himself in front of all these people even though he really, really, really did think that he couldn't feel embarrassment.

"Come on, Xemnas," Saïx dragged Xemnas away by the hand, mid-sentence. In return Xemnas merely waved again at Lexaeus and followed the blue-haired man into the stadium thing.

* * *

"DAMMIT  
XALDIN!" Xigbar wailed. "I HAVE A SCORE TO SETTLE WITH THAT DAMN  
MIDGET AND YOU FUCKING **KNOW** IT! SO LEMME FINISH HIM OFF!"

"Xigbar." Xaldin merely sighed and dragged his friend away from the penguins as possible. His friend grunted slightly. The younger man shook his head. "You smell like shit."

"What do you expect, Einstein? Penguins smell like shit and their shit and their MOM'S shit and I was strangling a penguin and therefore I smell like shit."

The lancer's palm met his face in utter frustration. He did not like babysitting Xigbar, but he knew that the older man was quite the handful and that he was the only one capable of controlling him. Er... if you could use 'controlling' correctly.

...Xaldin would like to brainwash you of all your memories of what happened previously.

"Dude, where are we going anyway? You said you'd take me to the turtles..."

_Pfffft, yeah right. Of COURSE I'll take you to the turtles, Xigbar!_ Xaldin thought, eyes wandering around the park. _And then the Organization will owe tons of munny to the Sea World people and it will be ALL YOUR FAULT and there will be no more turtles left in any of the worlds... except Atlantica, because no one wants to go there to rid of the turtles in the first place. Not even Demyx._ But Xaldin was wise and kept his mouth shut. "Do you want to go on Journey to Atlantis?"

"What would that be?"

"Roller coaster."

"Dude, why'd you even _ask!_ "

While Xaldin was too busy patting himself on the back for talking Xigbar into so many things, Xigbar was already scheming.

* * *

"Guys,  
I'm really running out of munny here..." Axel looked into his  
empty pockets. Roxas and Demyx had taken great liking to Axel's  
proposal and took full advantage of it. They took him around the park  
emptying his pockets on things they didn't even _need,_ but of  
course, Roxas was clever and said he wanted them "for the memories"  
and Axel instantly bought the excuse. Sucker.

Roxas tugged onto Axel's cloak once again. "Can Demyx and I get one of those cookies? They're big enough for us to share..." Axel lost it. The thought of Demyx and Roxas sharing a cookie, covered in melting chocolate was way too much. "Hey, watch it Axel! This is a _new cloak!_ " Roxas snapped. Axel had begun bleeding on it.

* * *

"That.  
Was. TERRIBLE!" Larxene commented, while getting off of the roller  
coaster. "There was ONE FUCKING DROP and from there on out it was a  
ride you'd find at fucking DISNEYLAND!"

"Larxene, please don't insult Disney... we're part Disney after all..." Marluxia attempted to coax the angry (understatement, I know) woman.

"Don't give a **shit.** Those dolphins over there are **polar bear food** now."

Luxord sighed. Such, such idiots. He had to find Xaldin and _fast._ "Larxene, just a chapter ago you said you would electrify those dolphins. And polar bears don't eat dolphins." He resisted the urge to go "so NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAH."

"Oh they WILL once **I** get through with them!" Luxord and Marluxia once again took custody of Larxene's arms and walked off with her. Where in god's name was Xaldin when they needed him!

Oh. Wait. Scratch that.

There he was.

Luxord caught sight of an elf dragging his one-eyed elf of a companion by the elfish ear. Yep, that was Xaldin alright, dragging Xigbar. Luxord and Marluxia ran up to him as fast as their legs could carry them with them carrying Larxene and all (the author refuses to imply that Larxene is in anyway overweight or fat, because one: it's not true and two: that could end up being far too scary and poorly written for this fic).

"Oh, it's you guys... XIGBAR DON'T YOU **DARE** MOVE." Xaldin greeted as amiably as humanly possible while half-choking Xigbar on his hood. "How are things going along with you three?"

"Please," Luxord begged. "Trade Larxene for Xigbar?"

"What are they? Pokémon cards? No."

"NONONONONO. You don't understaaaaaaaand!" Marluxia laughed nervously. "It's, er... _that time of month_ for Larxene, and since you're so _responsible_ and all..." The lancer rolled his eyes.

"Larxene." Xaldin asked, staring down at her.

"Yeah, what?"

"Does your stomach hurt?"

"No, why?"

"Have you been sneaking more chocolate than usual lately?"

Larxene's eyes shifted. How did Xaldin know _she_ snuck chocolate from Xemnas' 'secret' stash? "No..."

"Have you beat up Marluxia more than usual?"

"Nope."

"Hey, not true–" the Graceful Assassin argued.

Xaldin laughed, smirking, and turned to face the two other men (the ones who aren't elves; don't forget good ol' Xiggy's still there). "She's not PMSing."

"You're kidding."

"Nope!"

"I **told** you neophytes I wasn't PMSing! What, did you think I was joking? I just can't fucking _stand_ Sea World."

Marluxia and Luxord wanted to cry.

"Well, you three have a good day. Xigbar and I are going on Journey to Atlantis now. I assume you just were on it? How was it?"

The Savage Nymph twitched and began shouting, but before she could explore her colourful vocabulary to a volume within Xaldin's hearing range, Luxord and Marluxia dragged off with her.

"Alright, Xigbar, let's get in the line now. Xigbar? Xigbar...?" Xaldin searched everywhere he could within his sight. " _Shit,_ not again."

* * *

**A/N:** Ahhh, that was fun to write. Chaos is so much fun to write, especially Organization!chaos. :D -goes off into lala land-

I _said_ Xigbar doesn't make much of an appearance and I meant it. -woe- I hope to give Axel, Roxas and Demyx some more screentime too. I also plan on bringing Naminé back for a bit. I don't know how I will fit her back in though.

Keep all those reivews coming! My dessert plate's not running out anytime soon. And I have managed to get pictures of seme!Roxas and uke!Axel if you give an uber nice review. ;)


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Hey guys! Sorry this is late. No matter how short, family trips do not work in anyone's favour. x.X; And the night before, the site was down for some dumb reason. Hmph. WELL. Anyway. FIC!

I'll disclaim it again, but I think it's kinda dumb, because how likely is it that Nomura writes fanfiction? (It would be really cool, though)

* * *

"Fuck,  
fuck, fuck, _fuck!_ " Xaldin swore under his breath. "The  
Superior's gonna _kill_ me if I don't find Xigbar!" Xaldin  
had never been so nervous in all his life. He didn't want to die  
either. He hadn't found that special someone yet! Or finished his  
novel, more importantly. What's in that novel, you ask? I do not  
know. Anyway. Xaldin _had_ to find Xigbar. What would happen if  
he was too late is _not_ a pretty thought.

He fast-walked through a good portion of the park, getting lost in the process. Generally, this is where he'd 'ride the wind,' but since there were humans who would think he's some alien freak in the park like a disease, he decided it's in his best interest to not wind up like the X-Men.

Somewhere in an alternate universe, Wolverine hissed and called Larxene and her nifty daggers a wannabe.

Thankfully, he found some dude wearing a Sea World shirt, and ran up to him. "Excuse me, sir! Where do you keep the turtles? This is an emergency!"

"Say, aren't you that elf from earlier, who had a one-eyed friend with him...?" Ah, yes. The employee from chapter one was back.

"Yeah, and I lost him. God only knows what he'll do to your turtles. So where are they!"

"That way." The employee guy (checking his name tag, Xaldin found out his name was Herman) pointed in the direction Xaldin was headed in. "Head straight for a while, then make a right somewhere along there..."

"Thank you!" Xaldin continued his fast-walk. Yes, people stared at him. Yes, he didn't care. He had to save those turtles!

* * *

"So.  
What should we do now?" Marluxia pondered. Luxord was building a  
card pyramid while Larxene was stuffing her face with a hamburger.  
Ugh, how could she _eat_ those things! They're so...  
disgusting! Marluxia watched Larxene pig out in utter disgust. Not  
only was she eating meat, but she was eating it like a caveman.  
Marluxia, being the nature fanatic that he was, could not loathe the  
idea of eating meat any more.

"Dunno. Hey, Larxene! Don't you DARE touch my cards!" Luxord slapped her hand away from his pyramid, which was pretty good, considering Luxord had no artistic talent whatsoever.

"HEY, didn't your mommy ever teach you not to hit girls!" Larxene snapped. In her frustration, she took a nice long sip of her soda. Marluxia mirrored her movements and took a sip of his own. What a day. Being stuck with an apparently NOT PMSing Larxene was not fun. And he hated roller coasters. That... that _thing_ ruined his hair! Oh, and he slaved over it for so long, too! The wind gave it tons of knots and split ends, while the water... ohhh, don't get Marluxia started!

"Let's go watch that pet show thingy," he suggested, avoiding eye contact with Larxene's burger, as well as trying to sound cheerful.

Luxord twitched and his pyramid fell into ruins. "Oh **hell** no."

* * *

"Okay  
guys, I think you've bought enough shit," Axel commented, sipping  
his drink. He watched in boredom as Demyx and Roxas were finishing  
their smoothies. The author sighed and went out of her way to mention  
to say YES, Axel LOVED the sight of seeing Roxas sipping through a  
straw. There. Happy? His previous cookie theory did not go as  
planned; damn Sea World people, using _frozen_ chocolate chips.  
Who the hell uses frozen chocolate chips anyway! Not only that, but  
Roxas and Demyx split the cookie in half; those things were bigger  
than Roxas' head, anyway.

Sighing, Axel suggested, "You guys wanna go see the Shamu show or something?" Smoothie bits came spurting out of Demyx's nostrils and onto the table, his cloak, as well as Axel's. "OMG OF **COURSE** I WANT TO GO!"

"...I _did_ ask earlier. And how the hell did you manage to pronounce an anagram, in all caps, in dialouge...? And with out going 'oh em gee,' too! It just sounded like 'OHMIGAW.'"

"Shut up. I'm special. Riiiiiiiiiight. I knew that."

No, not special ed. Don't kick the puppy. Sssh.

Demyx could not wait. He loved Shamu. In fact, deep in his closet lay his secret collection of orca related toys and such. Postcards, plushies, novelty cups, you name it, he had it. Normally, Demyx would be rather shameless of his obsession, but he found it in his best interest to hide his stuff from Xigbar ever since Xigbar found a penguin plushie.

* * *

"Saïx?"  
Xemnas asked, a blush falling upon his tan face.

Saïx turned to face his boyfriend. "Yes, what is it?"

"I-I have something important to ask you..." Xemnas lifted his head up a bit, smiled gently, and his head fell back down to help his hands in the search of something in his pocket.

_Oh my god,_ Saïx thought. _For one thing, I sound like a freakin' teenage girl like this. Xigbar, too. Oh gods, I think he's reaching for a ring! Yes, yes, YES, **YES**!_ Saïx fought a blush that fell upon on his face as well.

While Saïx was still in his happy place, Xemnas dug out what he was searching for. He dug up a small note that said "KICK ME, MY NAME IS MANSEX" on it. Undoubtedly Xigbar's doing. Why is the author blaming everything on Xigbar, you ask? He's a _clever little sneak_ if you know what I mean.

"Do you... do you think that my name is really Mansex?"

Saïx wanted to cry.

"'Cause I mean... everyone's calling me that now... Even Lexaeus and Vexen, and they're _civilized!_ Tell me Saïx, do you think my name is Xemnas or Mansex? Because I **totally** didn't have to legally change my name to make it something more... _appropriate_ for a Disney game."

Saïx happy place disappeared for all infinity. Poof! His happy place is now what we feeble humans call "hell."

"Xemnas. The show is starting." The elf pretended to be interested in the show, because now his mind and his (imaginary) heart were broken.

"But Saïx, I _need_ to know...!"

Little did Xemnas know that Saïx was the one who figured out that if you rearrange "Xemnas" you get "Mansex."

* * *

"RUN  
FREE, MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS, RUN FREEEEEEEEE!" Xigbar cried,  
raising his hands over his heads. If he had began jumping around like  
an idiot, Xaldin wouldn't have been able whether he was doing  
jumping jacks, attempting to fly, or just looking like an idiot.

Xaldin ran up to the turtles' exhibit and found Xigbar standing on top of their glass cage (Kingdom Hearts II intro much?). "RUN FREE! DON'T EVER LET ANYONE CATCH YOU EVER AGAIN! GO HOME, TO THE OCEANS! TO THE DESERTS! TO... GODDAMMIT, GO BACK TO WHEREVER THE HELL YOU CAME FROM!"

Xaldin had oh so much fun raining on Xigbar's parade. The first thing he did was knock Xigbar on the head and knock him off of the glass thing.

"Eew, dude, _not cool._ There's salt water down there. And glass bits, and aw fuck," Xigbar spat out a shard of glass. "There's turtle crap too!"

"Your fault, dumbass. You released them. You deserve it."

"But I should have _good_ karma for releasing my brothers and sisters!"

Xaldin bonked him again. _Hey, this is fun!_ "What made you think you could free them anyway!"

Xigbar rubbed the growing lump on his head and spat out another glass shard. "Fuck, I'm bleedinggggg! Well, if **I'm** free to do as I please, surely my brothers and sisters should be too!"

Xaldin slapped Xigbar. _Now I know why Larxene spends so much time in her torture chamber!_ _This is great!_ "Xigbar, for the eighty trillionth time, **you. Are. Not. Related. To. Turtles.** "

Xigbar pouted. "Am too!"

"You're never watching _Finding Nemo_ again. I'm telling Axel to burn it. AND all the little toys of it you got at McDonalds."

"Hey – you're always the one who says to NOT encourage Axel and his burning stuff obsession! And you can't! Crash is my FAVOURITE LITTLE BROTHER EVERRRRR!"

The two elves paid no notice as the sea turtles continued dying because of a lack of water. Damn lazy employees. Too busy flirting with someone's mom to realize the turtles are in danger!

Xaldin slapped Xigbar again and grabbed his ear. "Maybe I'll get Zexion to brainwash you while you're at it... Maybe I'll make him make you _sophisticated._ Should've done that a long time ago."

"Ohhhhhh? Don't deny it. You like me as I am." Xaldin couldn't tell whether Xigbar was winking or just blinking. But since he was trying to sound all seductive and stuff, Xaldin thought it was safe (er... as safe as it can get) to assume that Xigbar was winking. And for the first time in his non-existent life, Xaldin blushed. "W-whatever. You're still going to be punished for this. I will make sure Saïx sees to it."

The author totally just realized that she ruined a perfect opportunity to switch to the next group and banged her head on her desk repetitively. Hey, cool! Blood! The reader than turned their heads to little red 'x' button at the very top right corner of the screen...

* * *

"What do  
you think of this one, Vexen?"

"Repulsive."

"And this one?"

"It looks like something shit in its face and then shaved it and fed its remains to a dog."

Lexaeus sighed. Who would've thought Vexen, who he practically idolized, was so immature? And when it comes to animals no less! He was a scientist; why did he hate animals so much? He was disappointed in Zexion, his best friend, as well.

Speaking of which. "Zexion, get back here!"

"Why should I? This place is for little kids, Lexaeus. Come on, I know you crave for something more exciting too."

The author resisted the urge to say 'Lexaeus sighed.' Because for once, he didn't. He _shook his head._ Oooh, beat that. "We'll get ice cream after this."

Zexion, as talkative as he was, kept his mouth shut for a while. Funny how the master manipulator is also the most easily manipulated.

* * *

"Oh yay,  
I'm SO EXCITED!" Demyx squealed, looking for a camera. "I LOVE  
the Shamu show!"

"Who would've thought," Axel moaned. He should've counted his blessings; Demyx fangir—I mean, fan _boy_ ing over things was normal. Roxas and Demyx abusing his wallet was not. Either way, he didn't win. Damn. Demyx was trickier than he thought. Zexion had taught him well.

"C'mon guys, the stadium's right here. Let's get good seats," Roxas said. Wow, Roxas can talk! The author is very proud of herself since this is _so_ not the first time Roxas speaks in this chapter.

"Why can't we just teleport into the stadium, dammittttttttt?"

"Quit whining, Axel! We can't; people might think we're freaks."

Axel rolled his eyes. "Roxas, when was the last time you looked at my hair? They _already_ think we're freaks."

"No, they just think _you're_ a freak."

"You look like a freakin' **ninja.** You don't think people don't stare at you when we go out?"

"Guys, guys, save it for the honeymoon, please!" Demyx coaxed. Axel fumed.

"You are _so_ lucky that ROXAS is the one telling me to stop, otherwise you'd look like my cooking."

"Oh? So you _admit_ to sucking at cooking!"

"Hey, can it! Your Lucky Charm Surprise isn't exactly the greatest meal of my life either, you know!"

"Guys _please_ stop fighting! The out of character-ness hurts!"

"Whatever. Let's just get into the fucking stadium already."

* * *

"A-aa-aaCHOO!  
I (achoo) HATE you Marluxia!" said – nope, not Larxene, _Luxord._  
"I told you I did not want to come here."

"Eh, we have time to kill," the Graceful Assassin shrugged. A sprinkler went off. "MY HAIR! Ohhh, that thing is _so_ dead! Larxeneeee, do you have a comb?" Marluxia glared at the little circus freaks known as performers and shook his fist.

"Only if you have some tissues! Ew, Luxord, stop sneezing on me!"

"Blame (achoo) Pinkhead! He dragged (achoo) us here, even though he (achoo) KNOWS I'm allergic to dogs!" Luxord snapped. "WHY CAN'T WE GO HOME YET!"

"Um... cheer up... emo kid?" Marluxia suggested nervously.

"Once we get out of here, you are _so dead_ Flowerboy." Another sneeze. More mucus and gross stuff that I will not go into details about fell onto Larxene. "You too, Cardboy."

"I know," Marluxia gulped. Luxord nodded.

* * *

"Why are  
we here again, Lexaeus?" Vexen inquired, tapping his foot; he did  
not like standing in lines.

"I promised Zexion we'd get ice cream if he didn't run off... and, well, everyone loves Dip n' Dots."

"Not me," Vexen muttered.

_GASP!_ thought the reader. _How can **anyone** possibly hate Dip n' Dots! _ The author nodded and added randomly, "it should be illegal, or something!"

"Lexaeus."

"Zexion." The glaring contest was on. Lexaeus looked down at the shorter man, who was as unamused as ever.

"...Give me my munny back."

"Why should I listen to you? I am your superior, after all." Lexaeus was stubborn and Zexion didn't like it. Out of the entire Organization, Lexaeus (and Axel, being a manipulator as well) was the most difficult to influence.

"Then I can run off again!" Zexion unleashed his pouty face. Lexaeus knew where Roxas got his from; the resemblance was obvious (the two were pretty good friends, after all). He laughed lightly. "Then you won't get your ice cream."

"...I hate you, Lexaeus..." Zexion loved his ice cream. A lot. And well, the fact that Roxas, being the emo kid he was, ate all of his ice cream did not help. He had been deprived of ice cream for the past few months. He _needed_ to have some ice cream _badly._

"FINALLY. We're next," Vexen sighed. "Zexion, what do you want?"

"...SINCE WHEN DID **YOU** BECOME AN ADULT AGAIN!" Lexaeus interrogated, eyes wide open. Vexen shrugged. "Since I felt like it. And since you stopped acting like one." Lexaeus facepalm'd and shook his head.

* * *

"So,  
Demyx," Axel grinned suspiciously. "Which is it?"

"Which is what?"

"Which is your hair?"

"What...? It would really help if you would give me the choices."

"Oh, you know _exactly_ what I mean! Is it a mullet or a mohawk?"

"It's... both."

"No!" Roxas interrupted. "It _has_ to be one or the other... it just _has_ to!"

Demyx shrugged. "It's whichever... you guys think it is. Or want to think."

"Dude, it's your hair. So tell us which do _you_ think it is: a mullet or a mohawk, Demyx?"

"Oh, that's easy. I think it's a—"

"Welcome one, welcome all to the world famous Shamu show, everyone!"

* * *

"Well.  
That was... stupid." Xemnas sighed. The clown show was over.

" _Seaweed men?_ " Saïx scoffed. "What was with that? I mean, Pirates of the Caribbean (two) made them look... good-ish... but that... That was just... UGH!"

"I hear the dolphins' and the Shamu shows are starting soon. Wanna go see either?"

"Mmmm... I remember hearing from someone, back when I still had a heart, that the dolphins' show is better, and you get wetter. It's way too hot. Let's go see that."

Xemnas grinned deviously, resisted doing a Mr. Burns impression, and the two set off.

* * *

Luxord was  
recovering from his allergies. Which is good. Yes, it is. Hush you.  
"Where do we go now?" he asked. Weird, wasn't he supposed to be  
the leader of their group?

"Er... I hear a Shamu show's starting soon."

"We are **not** sitting in the soak zone," Larxene hissed. She didn't like water, not at all. Naturally, she didn't like Demyx, either.

...How can _anyone_ not like Demyx!

Errr... Yes. Back to the story.

"Well," Marluxia said, attempting to sound optimistic. "She didn't _refuse_ we go to the show!" He laughed nervously.

* * *

"I hate  
you, I hope you know," Xigbar moaned. Xaldin was still dragging him  
by the ear. "Why can't you trust me? Or at _least_ let me  
go, man!"

"Why should I care if you hate me?" Xaldin shrugged. Xigbar was a real pain in the ass. A sexy one, though... _No! Stop thinking like that, Xaldin!_ The sane part of Xaldin's brain (hey, I want one!) mentally slapped him. _You are **not** attracted to your superior. You are **not** attracted to other elves. You are not attracted to surfers or pirates; you are attracted to SANE people. Sane is good. You are **not** attracted to XIGBAR of all people!_ How can someone say that? No one can deny Xigbar's hotness. "And I'm not letting you go. Hey, keeping my arm bent back like this isn't exactly comfortable for me, you know. Believe me, I would love to let you go, but you're not exactly trustworthy."

Xigbar grunted. "I am _too_ trustworthy!"

"Let's just get the fuck out of here. Want to go watch a show or something...?"

Xigbar pouted.

"I hear in the Shamu, the trainers ride the whales like a surfer."

Xigbar beamed.

* * *

"Hey,  
Demyx, which is it? Seriously man...?"

"Demyx? Where _are_ you?" Roxas asked, looking around.

"Shit, he's not next to me, and he's not next to you! We are so fucking _screwed,_ " Axel murmured.

* * *

**A/N, again:**  
Nyahahaha. I so do not have a fetish for Organization members randomly  
disappearing. Heehee. Anyway! Where on Earth could Demyx have gone?  
Will Xigbar behave? HOW THE HELL CAN LARXENE HATE DEMYX! When will the  
author start the next, and probably final, chapter! Gasp! All of these  
not-so suspensful questions will be answered next chapter!

As always, reviews are encouraged. :3 I will give you... um... naked bishounen? Yes, that's good.


	5. Chapter 5

Hi everyone! This is the **final chapter** for 'Organization XIII goes to Sea World!' Why? Because Sea World is BORING and I have other plotbunnies attacking. Don't worry; you'll be seeing _plenty_ of one-shots from me. ;) As always, cookies to the reviewers and readers!

However, I would like to say something to a few of the reviewers. **Do not review if all you are going to say is "omfg, so-and-so is MINE!1 There is no way in hell they're gay!" or "I love the blah-blah/whats-his-face pairing!" or something lame like that.** I love getting reviews, believe me, but I do not like those kinds. They're _useless._ I don't know if your feeble mind is able to comprehend this, but there's something called _thinking._ It's like talking to yourself without having other people hear you and think you're crazy. Try doing that. I don't want to hear you bitch about how you think Axel is _yours_ ; I'd much rather hear what you think I could improve on, or what aspects of this fic you liked. Thank you.

In other news, I'm sorry this is late. It took me a while to get into a crackfic mood. Disclaim'd for the last time.

* * *

Axel  
searched the stadium nervously, moving his head in every direction,  
hoping to catch sight of anything resembling a mullet or a mohawk. Or  
both. Unfortunately, he couldn't see. _Damn_ that random  
vendor dude blocking his view. Axel wanted to take one of those  
novelty cups he had and dump the soda inside on the idiot's head.  
Oooh, that sounded like fun. No time for that! He had to find Demyx!

Roxas whispered. "What the _shit_ is wrong with you, Axel! You let Demyx get away!" Axel growled. " _I_ didn't do anything; quit blaming ME for all your damn problems!" Roxas mumbled. "This is _not_ happening."

"It's safe to assume you found Demyx, right? Oh god, he's not naked is he!" Even though Axel did like the mental image of a naked Demyx (who doesn't?), this was no time for perverted thoughts, and he really didn't like the idea of Demyx running around naked. In public. He shuddered at the thought.

Roxas shook his head. "No, it's even worse. Look who's on stage."

* * *

"...Well.  
This sucks," Xaldin muttered.

"What _really_ sucks is that you _still_ won't let go of my damn ear!" Xigbar hinted. Xaldin squeezed his ear tighter. "Owwww! Dude, cut it out! It's not like I need _another_ scar!"

Xaldin whacked Xigbar on the head. "Stupid."

"Oww! What was that one for! I swear, if I had a five-munny coin for every time you whacked me on the head like that, I'd have at _least_ a year's supply of booze!" The author is well aware of the fact that munny is not coins, but rather those little diamond things. Sssh.

"The show's started. We can't get in." Xaldin replied, trying to maintain his temper.

Xigbar smirked. "I have an idea." Xaldin shook his head. "But it means you'll have to be willing to use your powers. Mildly."

Xaldin didn't know what to do. Xemnas' philosophy has always been "Respect your elders! Respect your Superiors! Or else!" and Xaldin had always followed that. But now he started to doubt himself. _Surely there's an exception when the Superior you have to respect is XIGBAR?_ Ugh. I guess he had to for the time being, but he was _definitely_ going to ask Xemnas about bending the rule a bit.

"Alright. What is it?" Xaldin hated giving in. And giving in to Xigbar didn't exactly help either.

* * *

"Sorry,  
you can't go in here," a wary employee said. Well, the way he  
stated it almost sounded like he _suggested_ it rather than  
 _stated_ it. He gulped. "The show's already started. The  
next one will start in about forty-five minutes."

Saïx was not amused, nor was Xemnas. But on the other hand, Saïx was never amused (versus Xemnas, who is both easily amused and amusing). Not only was Saïx not amused (the author cursed Microsoft word for saying that "unamused" is not a real word), he was _intimidating._ He scared the pants off of the random employee person.

"We **will** be entering the stadium," he said icily. Xemnas pat his company's shoulder. His hand snuck down lower, and lower, and lower yet... and then Saïx shoved it away harshly. "Whether you like it or not," Xemnas added.

The poor man gulped. Why did a blue-haired elf scare him? Sheesh. He should've been _laughing his ass off_ instead of cowering in fear. But he wasn't and he was terrified; that's the way it was and would be. "G-go ahead, sirs..."

The two began strolling in. Xemnas grabbed Saïx by the waist, and again, his hand crept lower and lower... Within a second, a good portion of Xemnas' face was black and blue.

_Then_ the employee laughed. In fact, he was laughing so hard, he was clutching his sides on the ground and crying like an idiot. Wow. If only Larxene was there; she'd have fun blackmailing the guy.

* * *

Vexen  
sighed. It was hot out. And his two best friends (even though one is  
really more than just a friend, not like he'd ever admit it though)  
were eating ice cream. He didn't like ice cream, but when Lexaeus  
and Zexion were eating it, it was almost like an art. Well, not when  
Zexion ate it; the young man gulped it down like he was going to die  
tomorrow.

His newfound guilty pleasure would have to be watching Lexaeus eat ice cream. He took a quaint little cup filled with little balls of vanilla (remember, they went to a Dip n' Dots), the smallest size they had. Lexaeus didn't really like ice cream either, but he was really hot out and if they were already at the ice cream place, he thought why the hell not.

Then there was Zexion. Zexion _loved_ ice cream, almost as much as he loved science. The author almost said "and Demyx" but she respects the fact that not everyone here is a Zemyx fan. Zexion was the only person Vexen and Lexaeus knew—this includes Roxas—who had tried all thirty-one flavors, and came up with a thirty-second. Despite his usual, slow, almost cautious way of doing things, Zexion ate ice cream like a pig. It was almost... disgusting to watch. But it wasn't, it was fascinating. Especially when placed next to Lexaeus, who was eating as slowly as humanly possible. Little did Zexion know that the reason Lexaeus was eating so slowly was because of him. It was making him sick.

Lexaeus pushed his tiny plastic cup away from himself. "I think I've had enough," he could've sworn he heard his stomach make unpleasant noises. Zexion eyed the cup. "So you're not gonna eat it?" Lexaeus nodded.

"Can I have it?" Lexaeus groaned as his stomach ached. "You've had two of their largest cups, and you're _still_ hungry?"

Zexion didn't care how immature he looked, sounded, or acted. All he cared about was _his_ ice cream. Not Lexaeus', not Lexaeus himself, not Vexen, just him and _his_ ice cream. In fact, he didn't hear Lexaeus' question. The scent of ice cream filled his nose, much to his delight. Sometimes it was nice to have such a powerful sense of smell.

* * *

Little did  
Axel, Roxas, and the missing Demyx know that members of another trio  
were near them; however, that trio knew Axel and Roxas were there.  
Not Demyx. But Marluxia was the one to break the walls between the  
two groups. "AXEL!" he hissed. "GET OVER HERE YOU  
PORCUPINE-HAIRED RENO WANNABE!"

Axel was too busy looking for Demyx to notice the other man's threat. But then he heard "Reno wannabe." He twitched. "ARLIGHT, WHO THE HELL LET FLOWERBOY IN HERE!"

Roxas tugged on Axel's sleeve. "Can it! You're causing a scene dumbass."

"As if my hair alone didn't cause a scene. It doesn't matter."

However, Roxas is no idiot; he was right—the two caused quite a scene. Such a scene that the entire show stopped. The trainer people stood in awe watching a pink and red haired man yelling back and forth at each other. It was amusing to say the least. However, the poor, poor whale did not realize the show was stopping temporarily and nudged its nose into a trainer, demanding fish as a reward for doing spiffy flips. The whale was so annoyed he nudged a bit too hard and knocked over the trainer. Larxene laughed.

"I guess show is more amusing than I anticipated," she commented while snorting.

"Hey," Luxord started, poking Larxene's shoulder (a deathwish). "Look at one of those trainers down there. Doesn't she seem peculiarly familiar?"

"Holy shit," Larxene said, rubbing her eyes. "You're right!"

* * *

"This is  
the _lamest. Plan. EVER."_ Xaldin moaned. "Oh, hush! It'll  
work at least!" Xigbar snapped. Xaldin lifted an eyebrow. "Oh? So  
you finally decided to act like second-in-command?" "Can it."

Xaldin had finally released his grip on Xigbar's ear; much to the latter's pleasure. He rubbed it. "So. Pick a stall. Any stall."

"..."

"Seriously. And then teleport from in there. No one will know we used our powers! There won't be a trace of us anywhere. Not even fingerprints; we're still wearing this damn gloves."

The author twitched. THE OOCNESS BURNS! Then she was stabbed several times with pretty, sharp objects for interrupting the story and coming up with the LAMEST. "PLAN." EVER.

Ahem. Yes. Back to the story.

"I don't think we should be doing this..." Xaldin warned.

"Oh, c'mon! It's not like we're gonna tell ol' Mansex."

"...Mansex...?"

"What? You mean you've never heard of Xemnas' nickname?" Xigbar asked, rather shocked. His one good eye was opened wide.

Xaldin shook his head. "No."

Xigbar didn't know whether to laugh or to point and stare at Xaldin like he belonged in the fun house. Instead, he twitched.

Xaldin answered for him. "I do now, though." He thought for a second and then smirked. "And you know what I just realized, Xigbar?"

"What?"

"Your name spells out 'Bigrax.'"

Xigbar glared daggers at the younger Nobody. "Tell anyone and you're _dead._ " The younger man simply smirked in return and they set their 'plan' in motion.

* * *

SPLASH!

Xemnas was soaked. So soaked that the pointy part of his hair fell limp. In contrast, there was Saïx next to him, perfectly dry and stoic as ever. Neither of them were having a good time. Xemnas came to this so he could see _Saïx_ soaking wet, not himself! But, mmm... wet Saïx... that was a nice mental image for Xemnas.

"Stupid dolphins..." Xemnas muttered. "I'm fucking _freezing._ " He shivered. How was it humanly possible for him to be soaking wet from head to toe while the man next to him was as dry as possible.

"Honestly, Xemnas. It's ninety-five degrees outside. Here, borrow my coat." Saïx began unzipping his outer layer slowly, much to his pleasure. Goddammit, why did Xemnas make the Organization wear those things in the summer? He could at least use a lighter fabric!

Xemnas was a happy boy. He had never seen Saïx take off his coat in such a slow, careful, almost teasing, manner. Saïx took his arms out of the sleeves and wrapped his cloak around Xemnas' shoulders. Xemnas blushed. Not only did his beloved touch him (he wanted to squeal like a little girl), but he was only wearing a thin, white tank top underneath. Xemnas could've stared at him for hours, no – DAYS on end.

Saïx watched the show with no amusement as Xemnas watched it with little. He was too busy off in "OH MY GAWD SAЇX TOUCHED ME OH MY GAWD" fangirl lala-land to care about it though. And yes, I just put "Xemnas" and "fangirl" in the same sentence. Go me.

Xemnas leaned on Saïx's shoulder. The blue-haired man shuddered; he didn't like being touched. "Don't move..." the Superior whispered into the younger Nobody's arm. The elf simply obeyed his request.

* * *

Roxas  
stared at the stage, ignoring his "quest" for Demyx. He rubbed  
his eyes; he could not believe what he was seeing. "N...Naminé?"  
He stared down to see the little blonde girl in a wet suit that  
seemed twice her size.

Unfortunately for Roxas, Namine locked eyes with him. "OH FUCK," Roxas grabbed Axel's wrist. " **Hide me.** "

Axel sighed. "And why should I? Especially after the _mean_ things you said..."

"I'LL BUY YOU CANDY! I'LL LET YOU TOP NEXT TIME! ANYTHING!"

Axel sniggered. "Oh how the tides have turned. Usually I'm the one begging _you._ I'll take great pleasure in this, Roxy."

"Roxas... It really is you!" Naminé said. The only reason she was audible was because she had one of those microphone headset things on her at the time. "I can't believe it!" Roxas blushed. First he had to be seen in public with Axel, Demyx disappeared, and now _Naminé!_ Could this day get _any_ worse!

Larxene shook her head and blinked several times. "You mean Naminé is ALIVE! After she went through **my** torture chamber at _least_ five times – she's still ALIVE!" She twitched. "LEMME AT HER! I WILL **NOT** GO HOME FROM THIS PLACE UNTIL SHE'S **DEAD**!"

Marluxia paused his argument with Axel for the moment, to hold her back, rather calmly. "Chill out. And do you want to be taken away to federal prison? You can't kill people in public, you know."

Little did Marluxia know it was _all his damn fault_ Larxene hated Naminé so much. Aside from the fact that she was so innocent, and naive that it made Larxene _sick._ And then he had the nerve to use her as part of his "plan" to overthrow Xemnas. Larxene was a girl, too. (Yes, that means she is NOT a boy. Get it right.) Meaning, Larxene was rather sensitive to the amount of attention she got. And having Naminé get more than her made her want to _explode._ Or kill things. Whichever worked. Why couldn't Marluxia pay more attention to _her_ for once? And not when he just had to stop her from doing something really dumb and involving much blood. Why couldn't he just _comfort_ her? Not that Larxene needed comforting. She would just kill whoever discomforted her in the first place. But still. A girl could dream, couldn't she?

Luxord watched Naminé, almost studied her. "The girl seems to have a thing for our own number thirteen. _Really_ has a thing for him. Axel must hate her with his life."

Instead of continuing to shout across the stadium like they were just doing, Axel somehow managed to get over to where Marluxia, Larxene, and Luxord were sitting. He overheard Luxord's last comment. "It's true that I don't like Naminé, but that's not why. And do any of you know where the fuck Demyx went! Roxas and I have been looking around the entire damn stadium and we couldn't find a trace of him."

Number ten pondered for a second. "Do you think...Maybe that Naminé girl kidnapped Demyx? To get attention from Roxas?"

Axel twitched. "I don't think Naminé has the stamina to kidnap anyone. Even though if she bribed him with something, namely... candy, sitar polish, or a new instrument that's just WAITING to be burned, he wouldn't be that hard to kidnap."

Luxord nodded. "But the boy does have good instincts. And he's not _stupid._ "

Axel shot him a glare. "Don't refer to him as 'the boy.' Who do you think you are, DiZ? Yeesh. And don't forget that he— and I—are your superiors. In fact, out of everyone here, I am the superior." Axel let out a triumphant smirk.

"You're right. You are the superior of us; you're the oldest. Congratulations, Grandpa," Marluxia let out an eerily happy grin as Axel twitched.

"Don't you _dare_ compare me to _them_ Flowerboy!"

"I just did, though." Ohohoho, Marluxia. You're so sneaky.

Roxas kicked Axel in the back of the leg. " **We're. Supposed. To. Be. Looking. For. Demyx.** "

"Owww, Roxas! That hurt. Alright, alright. We'll get to it now."

"Sitarboy's gone missing?" Larxene asked with mild curiosity. "In a water-themed park? I can't say I'm surprised."

* * *

Vexen was  
thankful. He was thankful that Zexion _finally_ finished his ice  
cream. "Where should we go now?"

Lexaeus couldn't help but feel a bit guilty. Vexen was having a horrible day; first Demyx torturing him in the gummi ship, then the rapids ride, and finally, the ice cream. Lexaeus wasn't entirely _happy_ either, but he wasn't complaining either (until he saw Zexion eating ice cream, that is). "Whatever you want, Vexen."

"I want to get out of this wretched rat hole," he snapped. He then realized that Lexaeus would then lecture him on how blah blah blah, they can't leave just quite yet. To prevent it, he added, "Or at _least_ find the Superior."

Zexion glanced at Vexen, and then turned his head to Lexaeus. "We are _not_ looking for the Superior," he snarled. "OR Saïx."

It was safe to say Zexion did NOT like Xemnas and Saïx. The reason is simply, he and Xemnas, much like Marluxia and Axel, have unresolved sexual tension to resolve. Zexion was ashamed to admit that as Ienzo and Xehanort, he and Xemnas were lovers. And although he was not Ienzo, he was Zexion and no one else, he still felt a lingering longing to be with Xemnas. However, Xemnas didn't; he found a new love with Saïx.

In fact, Xemnas had this nasty habit of staying as far away from Zexion as _humanly possible._ Zexion was jealous that Saïx so easily earned Xemnas' trust he longed for. And although Zexion found a new love with Demyx, he still wanted Xemnas. Just to prove to Saïx that he was better than him. But no matter how hard poor

Zexion tried, Saïx always won.

Vexen sniggered. That just made him want to find the Superior even more; flustering Zexion was oh so much fun.

* * *

"Let's  
get out of here," Xemnas murmured, throwing Saïx's coat off  
himself. Saïx grabbed his sleeve. "We can't, not until the  
show is over. They locked us in."

The older Nobody growled. "Then we'll go to the back of the stadium, way up high." He pointed behind them. "No one will see us teleporting from up _there._ That's why so many couples make out up—" His mind temporarily visited the nice thought of making out with Saïx and he began to drool. He then realized he stopped mid sentence and wiped the drool from the side of his mouth. "—there... And besides, if they saw us there, they couldn't stop the show just because of us."

Saïx doubted it was a good idea, but followed. He never doubted Xemnas; he never had, and he never would. If Xemnas said, "let's dye our hair purple, green, and neon pink and our nails glow-in-the-dark purple!" Saïx would've done just that without a question, despite the obvious amount of blackmail he would get.

They teleported out and all was good. Strolling along, they managed to stumble into three familiar forms.

"Well, well," Zexion started, casting a glare at Saïx. "We meet again."

Saïx met his glare, but ignored it. He was mature, wasn't he? No, not really. No one is ever mature.

Vexen walked over to Xemnas. "You have **no idea** how glad I am to see you!" Xemnas let out a faint smile. The younger man decided to be blunt and suggested, "Let's get out of here. Right now."

Xemnas nodded. "This place... isn't serving in my best interest. Once we round everyone up, we'll go. Alright, number four?" Vexen nodded furiously.

* * *

Xigbar and  
Xaldin were now sitting somewhat peacefully in the stadium where the  
Shamu show was shown (whatever it may be called). They saw Axel,  
Marluxia, and the others beneath them. They also saw Naminé.  
Xigbar watched those beneath them with some interest. "Hey," he  
started. Xaldin faced him. _Please oh god, PLEASE, do not bring up  
penguins or turtles!_

"Wasn't... the shrimp with Axel and Roxas? 'Cause he's not with them." 'The shrimp' was Xigbar's nickname for Demyx.

Xaldin's eyes bulged. "They lost number nine? Oh, I should know better than to trust Axel!"

The dragoon grabbed the surfer/elf/pirate's ear again, and while one ran down the stairs as fast as humanly possible, the other was dragged. "OW! FUCK IT, XALDIN! NOT AGAIN!"

"Axel!" Axel turned around at the sound of his name. "Oh, it's you guys."

Panting, Xaldin interrogated, "WHERE THE SHIT IS DEMYX!"

Axel shrugged. "Watch your language, Xaldin. You're always telling me to mind mine. Marluxia's, too."

"That's besides the point!" The dragoon snapped. "Where. Is. Number. Nine!"

Axel was getting ticked off now. Why did everyone blame _him_ for everything! Okay, sure, he wasn't the most trustworthy guy around, but he was really only a disaster when Marluxia or Roxas was around. "Gee...I just don't know."

Xigbar twitched. " **YOU BASTARD! YOU STOLE MY LINE!"**

Axel snorted. Xigbar was so amusing, no matter what he did. "As if!" he replied simply, moving his shoulders in the same way Xigbar usually did.

"You are _so_ dead, you little twerp!" Xaldin restrained Xigbar from Axel as the pyro laughed.

"Axelll!" Roxas kicked him again. "This is no time to be screwing around! Demyx is missing, and Naminé is making kissy faces at me!"

Suddenly, Naminé said something not-Roxas related. "And now... Please welcome our BIGGEST whale!" Everyone either stopped their quarreling or continued watching the show. A black blob was seen zipping across the water. Suddenly it shot out, a blonde boy riding it. The whale shot back into the water, the person with it. A body of water soaked those in the... well, soak zone.

" **DEMYX!"**

* * *

Soon the show was over, and everyone came out, including Demyx.

"Dude, what were you DOING!" Axel asked bitterly. "Apparently, I was in charge of you, and then you just disappear like that!"

Demyx pouted. "It's not like you care anyway."

Before things got even worse, Xaldin stepped in the middle of things, giving Demyx his coat ("Thanks, Xaldin.") "How did you get to ride a whale in the first place?"

"Yeah, dude, that was pretty sweet. You got some wicked moves," Xigbar patted Demyx's back over and over.

Demyx hugged Xaldin's coat closer to him and responded. "Axel and Roxas were boring me, and so I explored a little. I went to where they kept the whales and someone noticed me. They noticed the whales and I had some sort of connection, and asked if I was any good with water. 'AM I EVER!' I answered. And then she let me into the show."

"...And how tall was this girl?" Luxord asked.

Demyx shrugged. "Not much taller than Rox here." Roxas gave Demyx a death glare; not only did he scare the living _shit_ out of him disappearing like that, but he did NOT like being called short.

"What colour was her hair?" Marluxia asked, building off of Luxord's question. He knew what Luxord wanted to find out.

"It was a pastel yellow. She had peculiarly pale skin, too."

Larxene grinned. "Can I kill Naminé now, Marluxia? Can I? PLEEEAASE?" Larxene didn't know why she was asking permission. Maybe because Marluxia needed her for his plan of world domination.

"No," he replied; Larxene moped. "But I'll let you send her to your chamber for a little bit." Her face lit up.

After little walking, that group ran into Xemnas' and Vexen's groups, which were now one (much to Saïx and Zexion's displeasure).

"ZEXY!" Demyx glomped Zexion.

"Demyx."

"Uh-huh, Zexy. What is it?"

"You're soaking wet. And you stench of ocean water." Zexion attempted to move Demyx off of him; he didn't want to get his hair wet. Apparently Demyx didn't understand Zexion's implication of "get the hell off of me." He was too nice to say that, though.

"Welll, that's because I was part of the Shamu show! You should've seen me!"

"Uh-huh. Now get off of me, Demyx, before I catch a cold."

"And he did that without asking or telling anyone," Xaldin informed Xemnas. "I assume he'll be punished?"

Saïx smirked, but Xemnas stepped in front of him and his devious thoughts. "We'll see."

Vexen eyed everyone nervously. "So... can we go now?"

"But we never even got stuff at the gift shops!" Xigbar moped.

Axel eyed the bags he and Roxas were carrying. "I think we have enough stuff for everyone." Xigbar raised his eyebrows. "And we do have a turtle plushie, Xigbar," Demyx replied. "I got that one just for you!" The elf beamed.

"Alright everyone," Xemnas began. "We're leaving now," Saïx took the liberty of finishing Xemnas' sentence.

* * *

And now is  
the time the story switches from past tense to present tense.

Dinnertime with Organization XIII is always a strange affair. But, they're strange (and that's what makes them so loveable). From Xigbar stuffing food into his mouth and nearly choking on it to Axel's constant hitting on Roxas, everyone finds it strange, but that's what makes it fun.

However, tonight dinner is different; it's awkward. It's silent. Demyx can't stand this silence. He'd much rather have the constant bickering and loss of food on someone's face than this terrible, overwhelming silence. He tries to start a conversation.

"So, Xemnas," he laughs nervously. "I hear Disneyland's a great—"

"I think I'm all theme park'd out," Axel replies, leaning back in his chair and placing his feet on the table. He pats his hands on his stomach.

Demyx cuts a reasonably sized piece of steak and plops it into his mouth. While chewing and swallowing, he thinks. After swallowing, he says something else. "I hear the beach is great this time—"

" **No, Demyx.** "

* * *

So, that's it for "Organization XIII Goes to SeaWorld!"  
I hope you enjoyed it. :) I am very proud of myself (not) for putting a  
little bit of Zexmyx in this chapter. I love that couple. Anyway.

I don't think I even need to say it: reviews are awesome and those who do review will get several types of dessert. Thank you, guys! You are all AWESOME!

I will be writing several one-shots in the future. Check 'em out once they're posted!


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